The Lord Is a Jealous God—And I’m Grateful He Is

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“For the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.” (Exodus 34:14)

God is a jealous God. The Bible makes no apologies for this truth. But here’s what amazes me—when He came for me in the depths of my addiction, He didn’t come with the wrath I deserved. He came with love. With kindness. With tenderheartedness. “Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?” (Romans 2:4). His jealousy for my heart wasn’t expressed in condemnation, but in relentless, pursuing love.

In my previous post, “I Know a Guy Who Was Far From God,” I gave you the overview of my story—a man so lost in addiction that he couldn’t see the light from his Father’s house anymore. Now, let me take you deeper into that darkness and show you how God’s jealous love reached down and pulled me out.

When You Can’t See God in the Mess

Our lives are like a storyboard being foreknown by God but unknown to us. We live day by day, making plans and following dreams. I’m writing this with knowledge—knowledge of my past and knowledge of God’s work in it. As the Psalmist wrote, “I will remember the works of the Lord; surely I will remember Your wonders of old. I will also meditate on all Your work, and talk of Your deeds” (Psalm 77:11-12).

But when you’re in the depths of sickness, addiction, and despair, it’s hard to see God in any of it.

I was deep—deep—in addiction with alcohol. And I don’t use that term lightly when I say my body needed alcohol to survive. My body would shake, get sick, hurt without it. I couldn’t even brush my teeth in the morning because I would shake so badly. I needed to drink alcohol as soon as I woke up just to function. I would start drinking early in the morning and continue late into the night.

Did I see God in that season? No. I was so far away from Him that I couldn’t see anything but my need for alcohol.

But God Was in That Mess

Oh, but God was in that mess of a life I was living.

Looking backward, I can see how He was protecting me, leading me to men who would minister to me, leading me to my church where I would receive His Word and His love. That love—that love—is what God used to bring me out of the addiction.

God placed on my path the most incredible man I have ever known outside of my father and brother. This man walked with me in love, prayed with me and for me. He walked alongside my wife, keeping her focused on the Lord and not on my sin. I loved my friend, and I miss him dearly. The Lord took him home, though we always said that’s where he lived anyway—so he’s truly home now.

The Night Everything Changed

That night I referred to in “I Know a Guy” started with this dear friend.

He came to my house one evening as I was drinking and sat with me. He spoke to me in love and prayed for me. My friend walked in the Spirit—I would even say he lived in the Spirit. He told me that night that the only thing that could save my life, my marriage, and my family was getting on my face before God, giving it all to Him, and asking for His help and healing.

I sat there with nothing to lose and everything to gain.

He left, and I got down on my knees and asked God to take this addiction away.

It sounds simple in hindsight. But that night it was anything but.

I cried. I got angry. I was scared. And I needed a helping of faith that I had never known before. I had deep sadness—not the kind where you’re sad because you got caught drinking. I didn’t care about that anymore; I had resigned myself that I was an alcoholic. No, this sadness was different. It was deep pain, but not for me or my family.

It was for my Lord.

Later, it was explained to me as “godly sorrow”—“For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation, not to be regretted; but the sorrow of the world produces death” (2 Corinthians 7:10). Man, that was hard. But I prayed in faith and believed that it was the end of my alcoholism.

I have since studied the gift of faith from Scripture—“to another faith by the same Spirit” (1 Corinthians 12:9)—and I now believe that God bestowed that gift upon me that night, perhaps ministered through my friend. I say this because I got up after that long, agonizing prayer and said to myself, “That’s it. I am officially done forever. FINALLY.”

The Morning After the Miracle

I went to bed and woke up the next morning and realized that God had answered my prayer.

Something was different. Not only did I not have the morning shakes or feel sick—normally when I would stop drinking, I required medical detox—but this time was different. The feeling I had was that IT WAS OVER.

That in itself is a miracle, but something else happened. God didn’t just take away the physical addiction—He took away the cravings, the thoughts, the plans, and even the memories.

I tell this story often: When I was drinking, I knew the hours of every liquor store within a five-mile radius of my house. I knew when they held their sales and the names of the employees. God took all of that away that night. I didn’t need it, and I couldn’t have told you the hours that morning or since.

I didn’t need medical detox, and I have never taken or thought of taking another drink since the night I put my face to the ground and truly gave it to the Lord. “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28). He gave me rest that night—complete, supernatural rest from a battle I couldn’t win on my own.

Restoration Beyond Sobriety

But God wasn’t done with just sobriety.

Over the years, He has restored what the locust stole—“So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten” (Joel 2:25)—from me, my wife, and my family. My marriage is stronger than it has ever been. My daughters and I have a relationship that every father dreams of.

God didn’t just heal me. He healed my world. He restored relationships I thought were beyond repair. He brought beauty from ashes and turned my mourning into dancing.

Sober-Minded and Ready for Service

As I was now “sober-minded” (1 Peter 1:13), God was able to work in me and through me in ways I never imagined.

God spoke to me during a Wednesday evening message. Through my pastor’s words, He told me to “stop hoarding my personal time—God wants it.”

That was the beginning of God putting me to work for His kingdom. He directed me into His service, leading me to our School of Ministry, then to become a leader in our men’s group, then to lead the prayer ministry for our church. He opened doors for me to serve as a producer of a Christian talk radio show. So much has happened that it will take multiple posts to give it the justice it deserves.

But here’s what I want you to know: The same jealous God who wouldn’t let me go, who pursued me in my darkest hour, who sent a friend to speak truth in love, who gave me the gift of faith when I had none of my own—that same God has a plan for your life too.

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). This is how He met me. Not with the condemnation I deserved, but with kindness that led me to repentance.

If you’re in the depths right now, unable to see the light from your Father’s house, please hear this: God is in that mess with you. He’s already working, already protecting, already preparing your deliverance. His jealous love won’t let you go.

Coming soon: The medical miracle that left doctors amazed, and the power of persistent prayer that changed everything. Stay tuned—there’s so much more to this testimony.

What about you? Have you experienced God’s jealous love pursuing you in an unexpected way? Share your story in the comments below.